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Last week we talked about how it's easier to argue than
connect. We blame those closest to us for how we feel.
We want to constrict our heart, cover up our pain, because
We want to constrict our heart, cover up our pain, because
deep down we feel like it's weak to display emotion. We
are ashamed of our tears, of our vulnerability.
are ashamed of our tears, of our vulnerability.
The question I left you with was, "What if the real problem is
that you have disconnected from yourself?" How would you
know if that's happening? See if you can see yourself in some
that you have disconnected from yourself?" How would you
know if that's happening? See if you can see yourself in some
of the below examples.
First, last week I mentioned how I wasn't really connecting
with my husband. I also have done that with others that I
love dearly, because if I really allow myself to LOVE that much,
I will be hurt that much more when they die. I've been
protecting myself from further loss and pain.
Secondly, I realized I wasn't slowing down, creating space,
to really check in with myself and see how I was feeling.
to really check in with myself and see how I was feeling.
I was doing self-care, but much of it was physical: yoga,
energy routine, working out. All good stuff...
energy routine, working out. All good stuff...
However, I wasn't doing things like journaling my feelings
or meridian tapping (emotional freedom technique--to bring
feelings to the surface to be acknowledged and released.)
or meridian tapping (emotional freedom technique--to bring
feelings to the surface to be acknowledged and released.)
Thirdly, when I began watching what I was eating more, I
realized how much I'd relied on food and TV for comfort, to
avoid feeling and "getting real with myself."
avoid feeling and "getting real with myself."
Lastly, I can see how when I began to feel really successful in
my career that I sabotaged that success. I felt worthy of shining
my light only so much.... If I really stepped into my power and
full brilliance and strength, I would need to come out of hiding,
expose my vulnerable heart.
It was at this time that I allowed external circumstances (how
certain people treated me) to dictate my value, and I shrank
back. I feel like I'm ready to come out of hiding and risk being
hurt by people.
You see, that's what makes shining our light so scary. If we
really take risks and SHOW UP, revealing our true thoughts,
feelings and desires, we may be rejected by others, criticized
by them, left out. We are wired to be in a pack, to be accepted
by those around us in order to ensure our emotional safety
and security.
So it can feel terrifying to really be ourselves. And when we
begin shining our light, some people will leave our lives, and
we can feel abandoned. They might even call us selfish.
Do you see how it serves us to play small? It keeps us "safely"
stuck in our comfort zone, protecting our heart from disappointment,
pain, sadness, loss....or so we think.
It also keeps us from feeling joy, peace, love, freedom...
So I challenge you right now. Search your heart...search your
soul...are you disconnecting from life like I have? Are you ready
to make a REAL change and do something different?
The unknown is waiting with baited breath on the other side of
fear, and it is where our life really begins...
"There is no coming to consciousness without pain." C.G. Jung
Will you join me on this journey? It is scary, but it's very doable.
We WILL BE OK. There is a part of us that wants to change,
and there is a part that doesn't want any part of it.
Which voice will we listen to today? I'm teaching a live class
on finding our freedom and will teach a powerful technique to
help us really live. It's this Thursday. If you feel this message
resonates with you and that you're part of my tribe, call or text me
at (314) 422-6520 for more details.
Supporting you all the way,
Angie Monko
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