Why it's so scary to be you?
Last week we talked about how it's easier to argue than connect. We blame those closest to us for how we feel. We want to constrict our heart, cover up our pain, because deep down we feel like it's weak to display emotion. We are ashamed of our tears, of our vulnerability.
The question I left you with was, "What if the real problem is that you have disconnected from yourself?" How would you know if that's happening? See if you can see yourself in someof the below examples.
First, last week I mentioned how I wasn't really connecting with my husband. I also have done that with others that I love dearly, because if I really allow myself to LOVE that much, I will be hurt that much more when they die. I've been protecting myself from further loss and pain.
Secondly, I realized I wasn't slowing down, creating space, to really check in with myself and see how I was feeling.I was doing self-care, but much of it was physical: yoga, energy routine, working out. All good stuff...
However, I wasn't doing things like journaling my feelings or meridian tapping (emotional freedom technique--to bring feelings to the surface to be acknowledged and released.)
Thirdly, when I began watching what I was eating more, Irealized how much I'd relied on food and TV for comfort, to avoid feeling and "getting real with myself."
Lastly, I can see how when I began to feel really successful in my career that I sabotaged that success. I felt worthy of shining my light only so much.... If I really stepped into my power and full brilliance and strength, I would need to come out of hiding, expose my vulnerable heart.
It was at this time that I allowed external circumstances (how certain people treated me) to dictate my value, and I shrank back. I feel like I'm ready to come out of hiding and risk being hurt by people.
You see, that's what makes shining our light so scary. If we really take risks and SHOW UP, revealing our true thoughts, feelings and desires, we may be rejected by others, criticized by them, left out. We are wired to be in a pack, to be accepted by those around us in order to ensure our emotional safety and security.
So it can feel terrifying to really be ourselves. And when we begin shining our light, some people will leave our lives, and we can feel abandoned. They might even call us selfish.
Do you see how it serves us to play small? It keeps us "safely" stuck in our comfort zone, protecting our heart from disappointment, pain, sadness, loss....or so we think.
It also keeps us from feeling joy, peace, love, freedom...
So I challenge you right now. Search your heart...search your soul...are you disconnecting from life like I have? Are you ready to make a REAL change and do something different?
The unknown is waiting with baited breath on the other side of fear, and it is where our life really begins...
"There is no coming to consciousness without pain." C.G. Jung
Will you join me on this journey? It is scary, but it's very doable. We WILL BE OK. There is a part of us that wants to change, and there is a part that doesn't want any part of it.
Which voice will we listen to today? I'm teaching a live class on finding our freedom and will teach a powerful technique to help us really live. It's this Thursday. If you feel this message resonates with you and that you're part of my tribe, call or text me at (314) 422-6520 for more details.
Supporting you all the way,
Angie Monko