Who's expecting you to be perfect really?
I need to do this blog perfectly!
I often feel like I need to do this blog and video perfectly. I ought to be more funny, vary up the locations, tell more interesting stories, have a better hook to grab your attention. So I can be left feeling like my efforts aren't good enough.
BUT YET...I still keep showing up. And my intention is to continue doing that because I really love helping you get real with yourself and then others.
To practice self-honesty is rare, especially when it comes to how much we truly expect ourselves to be perfect. And let me be frank. I'm right there with you! I'm not claiming to have life figured out, or why things happen the way they do.
Some days I have peace and other days anxiety, like on blog day. Maybe I'm not resisting that fact so much anymore. Life can feel hard at times when we experience the feelings
of loss of control or anything contrary to what we expect/want.
I don't care how far someone has come on their spiritual path and what ranks they've climbed in religion, corporate life, politics, or whatever, we each have a need to be loved and belong. And we can each be triggered back to a childish reaction if given the perfect storm of circumstances.
And if someone is outlandishly "out there" and has no concern of what others think of him/her, they are probably being self-absorbed or putting up a false bravado, minimizing their heart felt truth.
What drives you to be perfect?
This need to belong is what drives us to want to appear perfect. Who's expecting you to be perfect? You are. And society does a great job of backing you up.
Why give up the appearance? Don't you have a lot to lose? What if you had more to gain, such as authentic connection with others...
It takes real courage to be you and me.
There is no such thing as perfection in being human. It's not healthy to even strive for this because to portray perfectionism requires us to be insincere with ourselves because life is messy... period.
And when we do this and push ourselves so hard to meet some unattainable image, we become stretched thin, worn out and resentful. A possible alternative?
What's an alternative to perfectionism?
Seeking excellence is the opposite of perfectionism. To seek to be our best is healthy and will encourage us to make mistakes, take risks, and keep showing up, even if we might upset someone in the process.
If someone gets mad at us when we're trying our best, and we're doing it with kindness and thoughtful intention, then so be it.
If we stop doing what is right for us to keep them happy (THEM could be our church leaders, our spouse, our kids, our teachers, our friends, our parents, etc.), we lose our self and all that anger gets directed inward, where our health and happiness are compromised. We also waste a lot of energy when trying to be perfect and someone we aren't.
Does this message call to you? What do you stand to gain if you let go of perfectionism?
What's one way you're not being real with yourself?
It's up to you. Think of one way in which you're not being real with yourself. These truths are often painful and so I applaud you for even considering it--for even one minute.
*Do you need to ask someone to step it up, take the burden off of you, but you're afraid of their push back?
*Do you need to take responsibility for something you've been blaming another for?
*Do you need to really look at an addictive substance or behavior that's controlling your life (food, alcohol, etc.)?
*Have you been putting off an authentic conversation with another (maybe you owe them an amends)?
Hopefully this will jog your memory. I encourage you to write about this for 1 minute. Don't be a perfectionist! :)
Even 1 minute of soul searching can yield big awareness that will later turn into new insights and actions.
Let's have a conversation
I would like to have a conversation with you. Simply reply to this email and let me know the one thing you're ready to change.
Don't worry about the HOW. We can set a time to talk. I won't pressure you into changing. I will listen to you
and we can pluck out the patterns stopping you from being you and robbing you of health and happiness.
If you want to pursue working together, great! I'd be honored to experience the journey with you.
If not, we will part friends. I promise. I'm not going to resent you for giving of my time. I DO this to help. And if I can serve you in a way today that bears fruit years down the road for you and/or me, then we're good!
There is a bigger picture that we don't understand.
So reply back and call me at 314-422-6520.