I believe I have found the key to unlock the lifestyle
of freedom that has been trying to get my attention
for years now.
My wise inner voice said, "Stop forcing others. This
doesn't give them the space to choose."
My scared inner voice replied, "But if I don't nudge
them, they won't take action and change. Then they'll
fail and blame me. Then I'll lose connection
with them. I'll feel like a failure and not good enough
or lovable enough. I can't let that happen!"
Wise voice: "They can't harm you if you keep your
So I started to go through the list of people in my
mind who I felt disconnected with, disappointed in,
attacked by, not enough for, etc.
Probably the person I have the most conflict with is
my husband because he feels the most safe, and yet
the least safe.
He's the most safe because I know he loves me
warts and all. He's the least safe because he feels
comfortable unleashing his feelings/thoughts.
So I imagined he was talking to me, and I felt
inadequate as a wife, mother, business owner, for
whatever reason, BUT THIS TIME, instead of
defending myself and telling him how much I had on
my plate and why he should back off and feel sorry
for me, I OPENED MY HEART AND REALIZED
I CAN'T BE HURT BY ANYBODY IF I ALREADY
KNOW I'M ENOUGH!
The natural response is to close my heart
when I feel attacked, demeaned, criticized, judged.
BUT WHAT IF I stayed open no matter what?
What if I stayed centered in love in the present moment
no matter what was going on around me?
I should certainly have plenty of opportunities to
practice love where love doesn't seem to abide.
There are many folks suffering in silence. They
lash out, keep it all in, and sometimes even take
their own lives, when it all seems to be too much...
God is leading me on a very scary journey, and
some days I definitely don't feel up to the challenge.
It's NOT a journey of enlightenment or perfection.
It IS a journey of being REAL, being myself. It is
NOT a journey of trying to control everyone or
everything. It IS a journey of surrender.
You may not like or love me, and today, what I
deeply realized is: that's okay. I intend to LOVE
YOU ANYWAY. I've decided today that I will live
with my heart wide open even when, especially
when, it terrifies me.
I lovingly invite you to my next free event, in
which I'll be offering you the next step to take
to continue this journey with me.
In Loving Service,