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Setting Boundaries

Angie Monko - Saturday, May 22, 2010
Dear Friends,

Are you able to set firm boundaries with other people?  Do you feel that you are responsible
for other people’s happiness?  Maybe you feel the need to “fix” people and control outcomes. 
Do you feel like a doormat for others?  I’ve heard it said that we will never allow someone else
to treat us worse than we treat ourselves. This approach to life can be a full-time job, not to
mention tiring. It takes a lot of energy to play God.  That may sound a little harsh, but I’m being
serious.

 Whenever I get in “GOD” mode, I worry about what will happen tomorrow, I worry about what
my kids are eating or aren’t eating and should be, I worry that I’m not doing a good enough
job for people, I worry that I’m not a good enough wife or Mother, not sexy enough, not fun or
playful or patient enough.  You name it.  The name of the game is Worry with a capital W. 
When I’m on my worry pot, I am actually arrogant because I must think that my worrying will
accomplish something or at least control those around me a little bit more. Otherwise, why
would I do it? Sadly, it never serves any useful purpose.  It lowers my vibration, my energy,
and I get less and less done. 

I’m not suggesting that you don’t take your feelings or concerns seriously.  They are trying to
tell you to take some sort of action, even if that means doing nothing.  Just relaxing.  You can
begin to turn things around by listening to your intuition and tapping on how you feel. Once
you start to gain self-respect and self-esteem, it’s important that you protect this new found
confidence and serenity.  My motto is that I will give to people until I start to resent my giving.

If I can’t give freely, it will hurt the other person more than help him/her.  Further, it will hurt me
too as evidenced by this quote:  “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping that the
other person dies
.”   A boundary is an invisible line that we draw in the sand.  We must learn
to say NO to people’s requests for our time and not be the martyr or the people-pleaser.
Our first priority is to please ourselves so that we can be the best person for others.  We will
be more emotionally available and present to the moment.  Another example of setting a
boundary is not tolerating or accepting poor treatment such as physical or verbal abuse
from another.   

We can simply and firmly state, “I don’t appreciate how you’re treating me, and I am no longer
willing to tolerate it.  When you want to talk to me or interact with me respectfully, let me know.”  

PS:  If you’re really serious about creating your most magnificent life, click on the attached to see
if you qualify for a discovery session: http://www.harmonyharbor.com/discovery-session

PSS:  Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of
joy and freedom?  Send them to: http://www.harmonyharbor.com/news-register

Peace & Blessings,  
Angie Monko,
314-422-6520  

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