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Serve by Not “Serving” Others

Angie Monko - Friday, October 31, 2014
I used to make this nutritional Reliv shake for my husband every morning.  I thought I was doing it out of service and love for him, assisting him with making a healthy choice.  But if I’m really honest about my motive, I think it was a way to control him to ensure he’d make a healthy choice (because truly I didn’t think he’d make the choice on his own). Happy RelationshipsDo you find yourself doing anything like that?  Well, one day he decided to do this cleanse, which would require him to take a brief respite from the Reliv shakes.  So I stopped making them.  When he was ready to resume with Reliv, I didn’t resume making his shakes. The reason I didn’t resume was NOT because I resented doing it before.  I liked doing it. The reason was because I wanted for Steve to make this healthy choice for himself.  So I decided to stop “serving” him so that he could serve himself. How often do we disguise enabling others under the guise of “serving” them, so that WE can feel in control or for whatever reason?  I know I’m especially guilty of doing this with Steve and my children. It all comes from a place of fear that I am not trusting and believing in them to make the “right” choices.  But what are the right choices?  Can I really know that I know what is best for THEIR path?  The answer is a resounding NO!  It comes from a place of EGO and arrogance within me to believe I know what anyone’s path should be and WHEN they should do something. The Truth is that they will DO what they WANT when they are ready and not a moment before. I’m a thief if I try to take away someone’s learning experience, which often shows up as pain and suffering. Yes, I know it’s very alluring to rescue the people we love so dearly.  But wouldn’t our time be better spent if we could figure out a way to rescue ourselves first?  It’s like putting that oxygen mask on FIRST, before your child’s, if you’re on an airplane in case of an emergency.  It may be counter-intuitive, but most wisdom teachings are. They run contrary to popular beliefs and opinions of society. Your action for today:  Ask yourself who you are enabling under the guise of “serving?”  If you’re ready to believe in them beyond their current behavior, you may want to stop doing that.

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To Your Transformation, Angie Monko            
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