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Pain Pleasure Principles

Angie Monko - Saturday, April 17, 2010
Dear Friends,

Do you ever wonder why you do things that seem to hurt you?  Sometimes we do things that
leave us scratching our heads, wondering why we keep repeating the same, self-sabotaging
behavior.  The truth is we get some benefit from doing it.  The benefit exceeds the cost of
changing, at least subconsciously. Here is my example.  My assignment from Dawn Ferguson
was to write down action I have not been taking and why; what was the pain associated
with it?  This was difficult for me because I thought I AM taking actions, too many of them.

I tend to burn myself out.  So I wrote this:  I've not been letting go of activities that I consider
obligatory and not very enjoyable,  like walking the stairs every week day. 
The pain associated with letting go
is the fear that I'll gain weight if I stop doing the stairs. 
Next I wrote the pleasure that I derived from not letting go of certain tasks:  I get
praise/significance for doing so much (I don't know how you do so much, Angie).  I feel
important, thinking no one else can keep up with me.  I also can play the martyr at times. 
I'm an addictive personality and I tend to take to new activities with a vengeance and drive. 
I am just now learning when to let go of them when they no longer bring me joy. 

What will it cost me to not let go of excess activities
?  I will burn out, be grouchy and
irritable.  It will negatively impact my relationships for obvious reasons, and I won't feel
like being intimate if I'm too tired.  I will not want to serve others if I'm not energetic and
happy.  It will affect my ability to receive abundance too.
What will I gain if I release the need to be hyper-busy
?  I'll be more energetic, calm,
peaceful and connected.  I'll be more productive.  My relationships will be smooth and fun.
Life will flow and I won't DO things out of guilt, but rather out of choice.

The last step is to write down the action I need to take and a plan to take it.  For me,
it looks like this: 1) Don't walk the stairs if I don't feel like it (I haven't for nearly two weeks
after years of doing it!). 2) Honor and respect my body's signals.  If I'm tired, rest
(I've been taking more afternoon naps). 3) When I feel overwhelmed, I breathe deeply.
I breathe in the emotion and let it go. I hope you you take a few minutes to examine some
of your self-defeating behaviors.  I've bolded the steps.  Basically all I've done is a
pleasure/pain analysis, in financial jargon, a cost/benefit analysis.  We will not change
our behavior if changing is more painful than the current way of existing. 

PS:  If you’re really serious about creating your most magnificent life, click on the attached to see
if you qualify for a discovery session: http://www.harmonyharbor.com/discovery-session

PSS:  Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of
joy and freedom?  Send them to: http://www.harmonyharbor.com/news-register

Create a blessed day!

Peace & Blessings,  
Angie Monko,
314-422-6520 

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