Meeting People Where They Are
As a coach, it is important for me to meet people where they are at. People are very quick to jump over their uncomfortable feelings, and I am especially a culprit of this. I understand we want to think in terms of positivity because, bottom line, it is our positive thinking that attracts pleasant circumstances in our lives. It is our positive thinking, our self esteem, to care enough about feeling good, that gives us the inspiration to take action on things that perpetuate our feeling good.
However, we cannot access that good feeling state UNTIL we clear out the debris of limiting belief systems. So we have to be in our gunk for a while. A good friend helped me to realize that, although I meet people where they are at, I may get impatient with their pain and want them to move out of it quickly, probably because I’m impatient with my own pain. I process it quickly so as not to hurt myself more
Everyone process pain at different speeds and so I need to meet them again and again and again if necessary. I need to persist with them, see beyond their pain so they can eventually see beyond it. I am the Go-Getter. My philosophy is learn the lesson and move on. It is like walking down into people’s basements, where I see all of their stuff, and some of it is very old, and it has developed a stench and it is
moldy and has cobwebs and grimy residue all over it (the gunk).
So I walk down once, acknowledge their stuff, and then I am ready to walk back upstairs into the light. But they seem to have super glue on their feet and want to keep going back down. So I need to be willing to get my exercise and keep walking up and down those steps as many times as needed until THEY wear out.
This allows me to develop my patience and empathy muscles, both feminine parts of me. It teaches me to be more patient with myself as well.
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