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Letting Go of the Agenda

Angie Monko - Saturday, July 10, 2010
Dear Friends,

I have always been very hard on myself.  Somewhere along the way, I learned that
working hard equated to making money.  The harder I work, the more money I make.
Is it any wonder that subconsciously I don't want to be more "successful"?  I'd like to
think I don't get my kicks by working my butt off, but considering my natural inclination
to burnout, maybe I do?  My conclusion:  I do subconsciously want to work hard and
burn out (because that's what I do), and, at the same time, my subconscious mind
won't let me go further because it fears I might actually die.  So I put the brakes on
so that I'm not TOO successful or great. 

I keep listening to my inner voice that says,"You already have to work too hard to be
where you're at, and you can't handle any more.  Life is tough.  Making money is tough.
Clients are difficult and unwilling to change when it comes right down to it, and so why
even try?  You aren't creative enough.  You don't deserve more than this.  Being happy
and abundant aren't natural ways of being.  Just stop with it all." Right now, I'm on day
seven of a 21-day Consciousness Cleanse through Debbie Ford's book  called the
same (a couple of months ago it was a physical cleanse and now this). 

It's like a soul journey to awaken my consciousness.  In conjunction, I'm reading
Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth.  Both processes are revealing insights to me. For example,
being  strongly attached to meeting agendas  and to-do lists my entire life, I find this
needing-to-perform aspect of my ego very tough to relinquish.    It's much easier for me
to be HUMAN than for me to be BEING. I haven't felt like writing the last two Fridays, like
I normally do, mostly because I think I just needed to rest my mind and relax.  Even now
part of me doesn't want to write but not because I'm being a rebel or need to rest. 
It's that part of me that says if I do decide to write, ONLY do it because I really want to
and not because I'll feel like a failure if I don't.  This is really new thinking for me. 

1) I didn't write the last two weeks when I didn't feel like it; and
2) I am actually writing now because I was inspired to share this process with you. 

I sense that this means I'm letting go of pleasing others and following my own heart and
soul guidance.  Yay! I'm changing my behaviors by becoming aware of my
beliefs/thoughts/emotions, acknowledging and feeling them without judgment,
releasing them and reclaiming my power.  It's a pretty cool process!  Read more along
this line on my next article. 

PS:  If you’re really serious about creating your most magnificent life, click on the attached to see
if you qualify for a discovery session: http://www.harmonyharbor.com/discovery-session

PSS:  Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of
joy and freedom?  Send them to: http://www.harmonyharbor.com/news-register

Peace & Blessings,  
Angie Monko,
314-422-6520  

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