Ok. I admit it. I don't have it all figured out. The other day while walking and talking
with my daughter, Maddie, at Six Flags, she asked if I was afraid to show any weakness.
Strange question, you might ask.
I don't even remember why she asked. I replied with
some cockamamie that one of my strengths is being vulnerable and showing my weakness.
I could tell it wasn't the answer she wanted. I knew there was something more to it, some
I have to say there is truth in what I told her. However, I will only share so
much, and of course, only what I'm aware of.
I guess the real Truth is that I'm afraid to appear like I don't have it all figured out and
I first realized this recently when I was advising divorced moms to be honest
with their kids, admit they are scared and don't have all the answers, if that was the truth.
It dawned on me that I hadn't done this myself.
Why not? I didn't want to create drama,
and I wanted to take 100% responsibility for my actions and thoughts and results. I think
I somehow confused taking 100% responsibility by going it alone, and relying only on
myself for results.
In a recent coaching session with my coach, I explained to her that
business had slowed down for me in the last couple of months, because I had felt rejected
and abandoned by Maddie deciding to visit her dad in December.
I am not sure how long she will stay, perhaps permanently, until she graduates from high
school in 1.5 years.
I thought I felt this way because on some level I was rejecting and
abandoning myself (100% responsibility, right?). My coach took it a step further. She said
that I over-give, and I feel abandoned because I don't let others support me to the same extent.
I didn't see this at first. Now what I'm beginning to do to feel supported is to express my
feelings to my close friends and family. I "admit" that I'm having immature feelings, like anger,
that are not advanced spiritual thoughts. I recognize an arrogance when I feel like I have to
display a perfect life image, because I'm a life coach.
I think the best thing I can do as a life
coach and to prevent being knocked off of my pedestal at times is to admit it's okay to
Of course, I know this intellectually, but it's another story to admit I could be wrong or not right
when my child and spouse challenge me. It's even harder to not defend myself when I clearly
see the other is wrong and acting out of fear or ignorance and blaming.
It's at that moment I
have more responsibility to keep quiet because I DO know the other is in fear. What I will set
the intention for in the next week or so is this: When someone challenges me
(usually my kid or spouse), I intend to stay quiet and just observe. Allow some space and
silence for me to just be with their emotions, usually pain, and not run away from them.
is more, I will admit and own my feelings (at least to myself) when they arise, rather than pretend
I'm above such childish emotions.
I don't have to be Superwoman. I DO need help. I'm usually good about asking for help with physical
chores, but not so adept at asking for emotional support.
I am here to support you, and I ask that you
support me as well. Commit to your healing and growth and reach out to me.
PS: If you’re really serious about creating your most magnificent life, click on the attached to see
if you qualify for a discovery session: http://www.harmonyharbor.com/discovery-session
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