Maddie is coming home to visit for a couple days before Valentines Day. We cannot wait
to see her! She enrolled in a new school in Dubois, Pennsylvania, and she said everyone
is really nice. She is having a good visit with her dad and family.
Have you ever noticed
that when kids are teenagers they sometimes just want to get away from us parents and
find their way? Is your teen stealing your peace? I see so many parents struggle
(including me) with the changes that are occurring in their teens. My daughter, Maddie,
used to be glued to my lap. We were so close.
Now she is going through this stage of not
wanting to be around me. It really hurt me last fall, when I realized she needed to be
away from me. I took it personally for a while, but no longer.
Energy will repel energy if it is at a different frequency or vibration. Teens are often very
confused and angry and rebellious, no matter who they are and their upbringing.
are normally more mature and have more clarity in their life. So the two do not mix very well.
It shows up as children wanting to get away from mom and dad.
For me and Maddie, I believe
the physical distance has brought healing. It has given me the space to love and accept her
from a distance. When she went to her dads, she decided to stop taking her Reliv shakes,
that apparently were really helping her cystic fibrosis symptoms.
I must admit I was attached
to this outcome. I wanted her to take those shakes, gosh darn it! I had been searching for
something to really help with her CF her entire life, and it seemed I had finally found it.
Her pulmonary function tests increased from 43% in September to 91% on 1/7/13. And then
she just stopped....
I was devastated for a couple of days. Then I realized I needed to just let
go of her. Release her with love. I did some healing work and did just that. Maddie and I
consciously agreed to forge a new path of love and respect for one another. We severed the
old unhealthy connection and replaced it with a new, empowering one.
Now, parents, you will
not like this. But the key to gaining intimacy with your kids is to let them flounder, fall, fail, just
be themselves. Let them learn and have their own path. They can feel your need to control
and your resistance.
When you stop resisting, they often actually do what you want them to do.
Another key. You cannot
stop resisting, with hopes they will do what you want. Truly just let go. It is ok. It does not make
you a bad parent to let them live life and experience pain. We all had to do it, did we not?
Most of us do not say, "OK, mom and dad. In your infinite wisdom, I will trust you on this" and then
do what they say.
We have to go through "stuff" in our own way and time. Our kids are no different.
I am sending much love to all parents and kids on Valentines Day. Let us give our kids the greatest
gift we can--loving and accepting them just where they are at so they can know they are safe.
They always have a safe place to go in us.
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In Heartfelt Gratitude,