Have you ever sat in the parking lot before going into
a networking event, thinking "Why am I doing this? No one
wants to really know me. Who should I connect with
If so, you're not alone. A lot of people I work with, including
myself, feel this way.
We easily get overwhelmed by all of the people and energy
at networking events and any large groups, because our
nervous systems are wired differently if we are highly sensitive.
Being a highly sensitive person (HSP--term coined by Dr. Elaine Aron
in the 90's) is not a curse or anything to be ashamed of. In
fact, when managed, it's a great gift. We occupy positions as the
"royal advisers" of the planet.
The world needs those of us who are empaths, intuitives, deep
listeners, peacemakers, because we can build bridges between
people with different beliefs and help them realize we can always
find some commonality, like the love of children and animals.
Back to the networking dilemma... The reason we want to avoid the
large groups is because it overwhelms us.
We HSP's also wrestle with letting go of perfectionism.
"WHO should I talk to? WHAT should I say? I really despise all
of the shallow conversations that lead nowhere. I don't like the
self-promoting. WHEN will I have time to schedule a one-to-one?
I'm already overwhelmed...." and on and on we go.
If we dig a little deeper, we might find that there is also a fear
of being seen as we truly are.
"Would people really like me if they knew about my faults and
insecurities? What if they knew I struggle with making end's
meet? What if they knew I yell at my kids? What if they knew I
feel fat and ugly?"
What we're REALLY talking about here is feeling safe to be ourselves,
to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable will feel scary. That's how to
know if you're being authentically vulnerable.
Most of us work really hard 24/7 to manage what other people
think of us. I certainly care and do this. I think I'm getting better
at NOT doing it.
We ultimately fear that if we show up as ourselves, people won't
like us, and we won't be enough. THEN we will end up alone and
Though this may seem like a stretch, consider your own life. Keep
digging into WHY you do what you do. I really believe that we take
actions to avoid feeling lonely and isolated. Our loneliness is SO
painful that we will do whatever it takes to stay BUSY and not feel
Isn't that why death is so scary? We fear on some very deep,
subconscious level that we will be thrown into the unknown, all alone.
I encourage you to journal about this and ask yourself, "How can I begin
to feel safe showing up as the real me?" See what begins to bubble up
over the next week...
Reply to this email, comment on my blog and let me know what comes
up for you. I really want to know.
PS: The next Frontier to Freedom tapping class is Thursday, 9/13/18.
Register Here. This is a safe space, an oasis, to begin to feel
comfortable being YOU as you truly are.
We encourage attendees to check their judgment at the door,
ditch the guilt and shame. Examine the stories they're telling
themselves. Are they REALLY true?