My husband, Steve, and I are lying on the beach in Keywest, Florida, as I write this. It's peaceful
as I hear the waves lapping to shore. The sky has no clouds. Steve is sitting here, reading
emotional causes of physical ailments of mine, out of Louise Hay's book, "You Can Heal Your Life."
Admittedly, it's fun to read about other people's stuff. He's laughing as he reads about ears.
Earlier I'd told him my right hear was hurting, and it was hard to bite down on my jaw.
For earache, the book said, "Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Parents arguing."
The affirmation to help with this is, "Harmony surrounds me. I listen with love to the pleasant
and the good.
I am a center for love."
Ever since I started the 21-day challenge to not complain, criticize or gossip,
I've gotten a fever blister (festering angry words and fear of expressing them), lost my voice and
had an earache. Do you sense an anger theme hear?
I think it's amazing how the body manifests
our thoughts. I didn't think of myself as angry, but I guess I am on some level. I truly want more love
in my life and so I'm willing to let these things manifest and tell me the "story" of my subconscious.
I know a huge key to my happiness is to forgive, myself and all others. One person I need to forgive
is Chelsea, my step daughter. It's not okay to 97% forgive her.
She triggers me with her ways of complaining and selfishness, which I know are mirrors of myself.
I believe she's the reason I feel I can't express anger and she's who I don't want to hear.
I've forgiven, then what? Then it's important to keep my side of the street clean. Steve just asked
me what I need from him, in a playful way. Where is all of this philosophizing coming from within
Steve, reading Louise Hay and now asking me this? :) I told him that I need for him to communicate
clearly with me.
What I'm learning from my 21-day challenge is how to communicate with others in
a non-emotional way, in which I can still express what I want. I told Steve that he may not always like
what I have to say, but as long as I'm respectful and simply state my need, that is not complaining,
criticizing or gossiping.
On the flight down to Keywest, I sat next to a minister who seemed very cool and relaxed. I asked
him how he handled all of his 400 members' demands on his time and if he gave in to people-pleasing.
He said, "Not at all. My mantra for this year has been 'let everyone else deal with it.'"
He has learned
to take care of himself and put his needs first. He said when he first became a minister he made
a promise to his wife that he'd always put his family first and not allow the congregation to get him
off balance. I thought this was great!
It's not easy to be ourselves sometimes because we don't
accept ourselves and because of that, we are afraid others will not accept us either. So now we're
back to people-pleasing. If we feel we are not good enough (and all of us do on some level),
then we'll try hard to prove that we are good enough through people-pleasing, not speaking our
truth, excess work, etc. This is tiring and certainly not joyful.
To recap, we all display physical symptoms or problems in our bodies at some point as a result
of negative emotion. These symptoms could be being overweight, having warts, a skin disease,
back ache, headache, alcoholism, etc. Further, our emotional problems manifest as financial and
relationship problems too. Underlying it all is the fear we are not enough.
Make a decision today to
love and accept and forgive yourself as you are. Get out of the people-pleasing business and into
the caring-how-you-feel business. Once allowing joy becomes your priority, all of your problems will
dissolve without intense effort. Convert fear to love of yourself. Then you'll understand that to
"dare to be you" is not selfish and arrogant, but a guidepost for others to model a healthy and
happy life. Even those who call these folks selfish have a healthy respect for them, even if they
won't admit it.
I dare you to dare to be you!
PS: If you’re really serious about creating your most magnificent life, click on the attached to see
if you qualify for a discovery session: http://www.harmonyharbor.com/discovery-session
PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of
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