I Dare You to Dare to be YOU!
My husband, Steve, and I are lying on the beach in Keywest, Florida, as I write this. It's peaceful as I hear the waves lapping to shore. The sky has no clouds. Steve is sitting here, reading emotional causes of physical ailments of mine, out of Louise Hay's book, "You Can Heal Your Life." Admittedly, it's fun to read about other people's stuff. He's laughing as he reads about ears. Earlier I'd told him my right hear was hurting, and it was hard to bite down on my jaw. For earache, the book said, "Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Parents arguing." The affirmation to help with this is, "Harmony surrounds me. I listen with love to the pleasant and the good.
I am a center for love." Ever since I started the 21-day challenge to not complain, criticize or gossip,
I've gotten a fever blister (festering angry words and fear of expressing them), lost my voice and had an earache. Do you sense an anger theme hear? I think it's amazing how the body manifests our thoughts. I didn't think of myself as angry, but I guess I am on some level. I truly want more love in my life and so I'm willing to let these things manifest and tell me the "story" of my subconscious. I know a huge key to my happiness is to forgive, myself and all others. One person I need to forgive is Chelsea, my step daughter. It's not okay to 97% forgive her.
She triggers me with her ways of complaining and selfishness, which I know are mirrors of myself.
I believe she's the reason I feel I can't express anger and she's who I don't want to hear. So once I've forgiven, then what? Then it's important to keep my side of the street clean. Steve just asked me what I need from him, in a playful way. Where is all of this philosophizing coming from within Steve, reading Louise Hay and now asking me this? :) I told him that I need for him to communicate clearly with me. What I'm learning from my 21-day challenge is how to communicate with others in a non-emotional way, in which I can still express what I want. I told Steve that he may not always like what I have to say, but as long as I'm respectful and simply state my need, that is not complaining, criticizing or gossiping.
On the flight down to Keywest, I sat next to a minister who seemed very cool and relaxed. I asked him how he handled all of his 400 members' demands on his time and if he gave in to people-pleasing. He said, "Not at all. My mantra for this year has been 'let everyone else deal with it.'" He has learned to take care of himself and put his needs first. He said when he first became a minister he made a promise to his wife that he'd always put his family first and not allow the congregation to get him off balance. I thought this was great! It's not easy to be ourselves sometimes because we don't accept ourselves and because of that, we are afraid others will not accept us either. So now we're back to people-pleasing. If we feel we are not good enough (and all of us do on some level), then we'll try hard to prove that we are good enough through people-pleasing, not speaking our truth, excess work, etc. This is tiring and certainly not joyful.
To recap, we all display physical symptoms or problems in our bodies at some point as a result of negative emotion. These symptoms could be being overweight, having warts, a skin disease, back ache, headache, alcoholism, etc. Further, our emotional problems manifest as financial and relationship problems too. Underlying it all is the fear we are not enough. Make a decision today to love and accept and forgive yourself as you are. Get out of the people-pleasing business and into the caring-how-you-feel business. Once allowing joy becomes your priority, all of your problems will dissolve without intense effort. Convert fear to love of yourself. Then you'll understand that to "dare to be you" is not selfish and arrogant, but a guidepost for others to model a healthy and happy life. Even those who call these folks selfish have a healthy respect for them, even if they won't admit it.
I dare you to dare to be you!
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