Does Food Camouflage Your Problems?
One day at a time. This is a popular slogan in a recovery program I've been in for nearly 10 years. It simply means you don't have to figure out a problem all at once for the rest of your life. Take one day at a time and focus on what you want for that day. You can apply this to anything. I have found myself relying on food for comfort, probably in the last couple of years. I've actually always found food comforting. I see it as a reward at the end of the day or when I feel anxious about something. Over 10 years ago, before joining this recovery program, I'd binge on food and then restrict it for a few days, feel deprived and binge again, and so the vicious cycle kept repeating. Each time I did it, I felt guilty and I'd want to punish myself.
So I'd try really hard to eat low calorie food, feel deprived and then eat, hoping the food would solve the problem. What exactly was the problem? As long as I camouflaged it with the food, it was hard telling. I didn't know. Then I joined my program and I learned that if I overrate because I felt bad due to some problem, I'd then have two problems, the original problem plus a weight/food problem. The food never solves anything; in fact, it prevents resolution. So I went along for a long time, and I learned to cope with my uncomfortable feelings with prayer and meditation and journaling and living a life of integrity. I kept stepping up my game in life, putting myself out there, out of my comfort zone. I left my corporate job to pursue coaching, hypnosis and EFT full time a year ago.
And though I love what I do and find it very fulfilling, running a business on your own after being shielded by corporate America for twenty years can be daunting. One is expected to become the marketing expert, the finance expert, the accounts receivable and payable departments, the sales person, the buyer of products and services that will further the business, and you name it. I've heard that when stress descends upon you, that people will resort to old coping mechanisms, and so I found myself relying on food, my old buddy, for support. Then I heard someone say, "If you think you're abstinent from compulsive eating, try following a food plan." I really hadn't been following a strict food plan, and so sometimes I'd eat when I truly wasn't hungry. I also started eating recreational sugar again and searching for calmness in the food. I observed myself doing these things. All this time, I felt I'd improved my relationship with a Higher Power.
I'd kept going to my program meetings, kept praying, increased my meditation time to one hour daily.
So why did I rely on food for comfort? Habit. Something made me realize I wanted to change this. I listened to my negative emotions, which were guiding me to change. As I continue to move into the unknown, I've decided I want to be an example of peace and joy. I must walk my talk and worrying about finances isn't congruent with who I'm becoming, thus my negative emotions. I needed to reconcile my current reality with who I'm being called to be. So I began to write a daily action plan for my success,
just a few items to accomplish for the day that would support my health and wealth, because they are
inextricably woven together. The degree to which I can let go of worry, fear and doubt determines my
degree of health and wealth. Release the fear, release the fat.
So one day at a time, I've decided to not eat sugar (God is my dessert). Is this forever? No. I evaluate
my intention each day. My goal is to have a feeling of peace and faith without the appearance of human security. This means that my peace and joy don't depend on numbers, the number on the scale or in my bank account. The irony is that as I release the fear, have faith in a Higher Power, the number on the scale goes down, and the number in my bank account goes up. For today, I choose to appreciate my current body, and I am grateful for the money I have. In other words, for today, I've decided that I'm enough. Are you? One day at a time... you are a magnificent work in progress.
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