Do I trust God?
Dear Fellow Seekers,
I consider myself a very spiritual person. I believe in eternal life and that the soul is VERY REAL INDEED. I believe that we are more than our body and mind and emotions. In fact, I believe that our essence is Energy, Spirit, Invisible, derived from a Source of Power beyond our imagination. I believe we are here on planet Earth as spiritual beings having a human/physical experience. I think I believe this.
As I write this, I have to question if I really do. I think that up until this time in my life, I have intellectually believed this. My heart and mind and soul tell me that these words are Truth, Divine Truth, not my personal ego perception of truth. So maybe I do believe this on a deeper level than merely intellectually. If this is the case, then why do I worry? Why do I still buy into the illusion that I'm not enough? Basically, why don't I trust God?
What do I have to lose on this Earth that keeps me stuck in fear of moving forward with my life? Why am I still afraid to fully express my joy? Why do I have this wall around myself? What is the nature of Faith, of Peace? Does my fear of taking certain risks stem from the fear of not having enough money to give me adequate pleasure in life (not enough money to go out to dinner when I desire, to go on nice vacations, to have choices)? Why don't I think God will provide for me if I taken certain chances? I really don't know the answer to this.
Perhaps I'm tapping into the three Universal fears of low self-worth, fear of abandonment/loss and that the world is not a safe place. Somewhere along the way, I learned that making money was a struggle and that there was a certain way to do it. Go to college and work hard, earn a degree and get a job to work hard some more. This way worked for me a long time and has certainly provided me with a good living. I am very grateful. Now I want more, not because I want to escape my job but because I feel a strong urge from within me to express expansion through my vision of a healing center. I want more freedom to create my dream life without the restrictions of a "job." So where should I go from here? How do I begin to change the belief that I am not adequate enough to create a prosperous living from what I love to do, help and heal others through my writing and teaching? I will change my thoughts.
When I feel doubts about my ability to create enough income through what I love, I will say, "Up until now, I've created a scarcity consciousness for whatever reason. But every day it's becoming easier and easier to see that I am connected to a Powerful, Unseen Source of Revenue that shows up just when I need it and provides beautifully for me and my family. I am now open and available to a Good beyond my wildest imagination. And so it is!"
Wow! I love that! It just flowed out of me and it feels awesome to say. I will write this on 3X5 cards and begin to practice it immediately. I believe that my trust in God will continue to strengthen as I practice this affirmation daily. I just realized that I DO trust God in many areas of my life and so I don't need to feel sad about my lack of trust.
It's just that I've decided to trust God 100%, and this will take a little time to dismantle my belief in worry and scarcity. It's all good though, and I know I'm heading in the right direction.I hope you will join me if you're experiencing something similar.
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Peace & Blessings & Love,