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How do you feel when someone talks behind your back? Maybe it's because
you're different from them, have diverse values and beliefs. They don't get
you and you don't get them.
Does the thought of someone judging and not liking you put your stomach into a knot?
In the past, I would definitely had said YES! to the above questions. But I am gaining
the courage to just be ME.
Just recently I gave a brief talk to a group of peers. I briefly spoke on something
called OHANA taught by Scott Conway.
OHANA is an acronym for Oasis, Harmony, Assertiveness, Nobility and Aloha.
The gist of my talk was about how to overcome overwhelm caused by feeling that
there isn't enough time, money or love (basically because we don't feel that we are
enough at our core) using OHANA.
When we can create an OASIS where we can show up as ourselves without the
pretense or mask, it just feels good because we know others have our back,
When we embrace the diversity of all people and their beliefs in infinite combinations
aimed at greatness and which is what living in HARMONY is all about and how it is defined
by Scott, we don't make others wrong for believing other than we do. We are just different.
When we ASSERT our points and work respectfully towards a common solution/agreement
with others, no one is right or wrong. The key here is that both parties are willing to come
to an agreement.
When we display NOBILITY, we practice Self-Leadership and aim to be our Highest and
Best Self. We keep our word to our self and others.
Because we often tell people what they want to hear because we fear hurting their feelings,
we lose self-respect and we over-step our own boundaries. We lose credibility with our self.
The goal is to set boundaries and commitments that we will KEEP, say NO when we really
mean it. This may unintentionally hurt others in the short-term, but it will hurt them LESS
than if we string them along with vague notions of commitment.
Like Scott says, words and actions should match, the #1 rule of integrity.
When we show up the above ways, we are practicing ALOHA! which means LOVE
in Hawaiian. I want the best for you. I want to be the best for you. I want you to have
I capped off the talk by explaining that when we practice ALOHA, we are also
being a Worthy Self-Advocate, in which we practice the 3 principles of Authenticity,
Vulnerability and Kindness.
I thought the talk went well, but I received some feedback that some people
felt threatened. I can understand this. At first I was taken aback by it and felt
hurt. But the more I processed it, the more I realized it makes a lot of sense.
Showing up vulnerably where we feel safe to be ourselves is NOT the norm
in our society. So even if change is the best thing for ourselves, we will often OPT
OUT of changing because it requires us to step into the unknown.
The EGO will analyze things to death to keep us from changing. Also, this
is a new way for me to show up, be loyal to myself, realizing that I am coming
from a place of LOVE, and that I can't control whether people receive my love
or return it.
For today, I choose to stay OPEN despite being on a different path than
probably 80% of the planet. I AM NOT LOST. I AM authentically being myself,
and it feels good not to sell myself out to what everyone else wants me to be.
Can you relate?
Are you ready to BE a Worthy Self-Advocate and live the OHANA way every
day, where you feel FREE, SAFE & SECURE, AND AT PEACE? This is a way
of life that feels as if you're surrounded by friends and family you trust and who
have your back.
Register now for the next Frontier to Freedom Class on Thursday, 9/13.
Being a Worthy Self-Advocate,
For me, the above scenarios would have paralyzed me from