Are you humble, not a doormat? (Video)

Angie Monko - Tuesday, July 10, 2018

(Watch Video)

When growing up, I decided to be the peacemaker.
Our household was volatile due, in part, to my dad's
anger and my mom's inability to handle it.  So I tried
to keep things together.

This led to picking boyfriends who weren't the best
for me because I had this need to rescue them
from their pain. 

I picked friends who needed my help. This need to 
be there for others brought me to my current path of
being a coach. And that's all fine and dandy unless I 
over-give and feel like a doormat.

(Watch Video Here)

Attribute # 4 of 9 of a Worthy Self-Advocate (someone
who relates to herself and others with courage, authenticity
and kindness and knows she's enough) is to feel humble,
not be a doormat.

One Extreme:  I try to meet everyone else's needs before
my own because I’d be seen as selfish if I didn’t.  From the
outside, there is a lot of activity of bending over backwards
for others who generally don’t appreciate my efforts. They
think I’m really nice because I give a lot, but I resent them
and feel like a doormat if they don’t reciprocate.

a. I people-please to the point of exhaustion and self-
        betray because I won’t slow down and take the time
        for self-care.
b. I have lopsided friendships and family relationships
        where I’m always the one giving, and they are always
c. I over-give to clients and potential clients to win their love,
        affection and approval. When I don’t receive it, I feel
d. When I’m a doormat in my personal life, it drains my
        energy that I could use in my business and/or career to
        move forward and to spend quality time with those I love.

Other Extreme: I have long since given up trying to make
others happy because it’s impossible. So I am very isolated,
lonely and disconnected from the world. I am having few
human interactions, but I have a lot of mind chatter and
anger and resentment.

a. I disconnect from others because I'll never be able
        to trust them or win their approval.
b. Because I feel jaded and resigned, I think mostly of
        myself and am insensitive to others' needs. 
c. I feel like a hapless victim to life’s cruelty, and my
        clients tend to mirror this mindset.
d. I can’t truly give of myself and serve as effectively
        because I’m full of anger.

WSA Activities:

a. I realize that others’ may have totally different views
        of life, and there is room enough in this world for both
        of us. I still love them even if they disagree with me.
b. I am resourceful about meeting my own needs in a
        healthy way. It’s okay if people tell me no.
c. I’m practicing giving and receiving, and so my
        relationships are more reciprocal, less lopsided.
d. I charge what I believe I’m worth in my business.
e. I ask my employer for a raise if I feel it’s warranted. 
f. I am open and receptive to feedback.  I seek to change
        myself first before expecting others to change to make
        me comfortable.
g. I make a point of staying on my side of the street
        and refraining from trying to orchestrate and/or
        manipulate outcomes if it’s overpowering and
        disrespectful of others’ views.
h. When I feel rejected by friends, family or clients
        and/or potential clients, I don't take it personally
        and give them benefit of doubt (they're busy and
        it slipped thru cracks).
i. When people don't return my calls/emails/texts,
        I pretend that I’m always calling for first time (act
        as if I’m loved and valuable no matter what).
j. I choose the thought that feels best for me.  If a
        current thought causes me suffering, I question it
        and consider changing that thought pattern to one
        that serves me (act as if).
k. I take time to relax if I feel tired or un-motivated
        to work (this is honoring myself, not procrastination,
        if it doesn't happen consistently).

Would you like to be a Worthy Self-Advocate? It will
be necessary to both give AND receive, compliments,
love, money, time, etc.  

I can help you with this.

Come to our July 12 Frontier to Freedom workshop.  
We have a few seats left. I’d really like you to be there.


Angie Monko

P.S.: Your Freedom begins when you rise up,
speak up, and show up for yourself!  Is this your time?

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