Are You an Optimist or Pessimist?
I'm learning so much from Dawn Ferguson's hypnotherapy class, and so I'm sharing what I'm learning. I highly recommend Dawn's classes (and no, she didn't tell me to say that). I just wrote an article about Learned Hopelessness which can manifest as depression, poverty, feeling like we're not good or smart enough, also known as a pessimist.
Well how can we turn LH into Learned Achievement? A pessimist attributes their good fortune to events that occur outside of themselves (dumb luck), and if something bad happens, it's also because of external circumstances. So they tend to play the blame game and victimize themselves. An optimist does the exact opposite. They attribute their good fortune to their mastery, skills and abilities (internal power rather than external).
They narrow their responsibility for bad outcomes and don't take it personally. It feels empowering for me to be an optimist about my own abilities and belief in myself, and it feels frustrating and hopeless to be a pessimist. Dawn suggests that we over-rate what we can achieve by 30% (optimistic), and then be okay if we fall short. On the other hand, she suggests that we be pessimistic/realistic when expecting something from others. The reason is that if others don't perform to our liking, it won't rob our own peace of mind.
I choose to learn to be an optimistic person. When I feel optimistic about weight release, for example, my thoughts go like this, "I can release this weight easily and effortlessly. I choose to surprise myself and 'unlearn' helplessness and self-defeating behaviors. I will keep believing in myself." On the other hand, when I feel pessimistic, "I've held onto this weight for so long, and I'm just getting older. It's only going to get harder. I haven't figured it out thus far. Who do I think I am? I'm a hopeless case, and I'm too comfortable to change."
Obviously the first stance feels much better and offers me relief. Relief is what I'm looking for. What was my payoff for the LH around weight? I could remain comfortable and comforted and soothed by food instead of by myself. Now, when I feel helpless, I can remind myself that I always have another choice, that I can soothe me, not food. I have the ability to "unlearn" my behavior and do something more beneficial for myself, that will help align me with my true Self. This is how I move from LH to Learned Achievement, one small baby step at a time.
So I hope this has got you to thinking about your stance on life. You are in the driver's seat. You are creating your reality. Why not make it a great experience? Why not stop believing in your limitations and have the courage to peak into your astounding, unlimited, powerful, beautiful, sexy, amazing SELF? Our greatness scares us, doesn't it?
PS: If you’re really serious about creating your most magnificent life, click on the attached to see if you qualify for a discovery session: http://www.harmonyharbor.com/discovery-session
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Peace & Blessings,