Are you a people pleasing parent? (recap & video)
To LIVE and LOVE Fully (photo is Maddie and Angie
Paris Eiffel Tower 2013)
“To laugh often and love much, to win the respect of intelligent
persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation
of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give one’s self;
to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played
and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exaltation; to know
even one life has breathed easier because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love this quote because to me it represents what it really
means to LIVE AND LOVE FULLY.
And that is what THE SHIFT is all about.
Morgan Higdon and I are creating a community of women
who notice that they people please and want to start living
and loving fully instead. It’s NOT the same thing. We are
calling it The Shift: From People Pleasing to Living and
We people please in so many aspects of our lives, with
our children, with our romantic partners, with our friends
& family, even with people we don’t know well, in our
businesses and careers, with the church/God, etc.
Over the last 3 weeks, I’ve narrowed in on how
people pleasing shows up in our parenting, how we
parent our kids, how we were parented, and how we
subsequently parent ourselves.
To recap the 3 parenting styles:
1) The Distracted Parent is hyper-focused on things,
their business, job, housework, being on boards and
committees, any tasks really, to the point that loved
ones slip through the cracks and feel neglected.
What to do? Put time on their calendar and follow
through on commitments and priorities with those
2) The Critical Parent dismisses their children’s feelings
and drives perfectionist behavior, to the point their
kids feel performance anxiety, insecure, not enough.
What to do? Sincerely listen to their children and allow
them to express their feelings without judging them.
3) The Over-Protective Parent is the helicopter parent
who smothers/hovers and takes too much responsibility
for their kids, to the point their kids receive a subconscious
message they don’t have what it takes to figure out life.
What to do? Give their kids more responsibility and put
faith in their ability to be resourceful.
These Parenting Styles Result in Dull, Numb Life
It may not be apparent how each of these styles comes
from a place of people-pleasing and fear, but they do.
And they result in disconnection with the people we love.
They result in us living a dull, numb life compared to
feeling free to be who we are and create meaningful,
deep connection with others.
When we truly connect, we no longer feel lonely and isolated.
Watch the attached video, in which Morgan and I give
you a recap of the 3 parenting styles, and what you can
expect when you come to the 7/24 class on How
People Pleasing Shows Up in Your Parenting.
Why Come? It’s the next step to Live and Love Fully,
as Ralph Waldo Emerson’s poem describes.
When you stop worrying about what everyone else
thinks, you’re finally FREE to be YOU
What happens as a result? What is LIVING & LOVING FULLY?
This way of being is not about controlling things outside of
you, but perceiving that LIFE is always loving and supporting
you, despite appearances to the contrary. When this wisdom is
received in the heart:
YOU TRUST YOURSELF. You believe in yourself to figure
things out. Self doubt drops away. You make decisions.
They don’t have to be “right” for you to know you’re OK.
Life is happening, and you feel at peace with it.
YOU FEEL SECURE. Though you don’t know for certain
what happens after you die, you choose to believe beliefs
that serve you. You make peace with the unknown. You
choose to believe that there is an Intelligent Design to All
That IS, that your story is unfolding as it is supposed to.
No mistakes are possible. So how could you ever really
YOU FEEL LOVED. What if true love was about
unconditionally accepting all of you, the “good”
and the “bad”? What if everything that you are and
ever could be was 100% acceptable...so how could
you ever really be unlovable?
YOU FEEL SIGNIFICANT. Some Higher Power or True
Creative Essence designed you. You are unique in this
planet. There is no other like you. So how could you
ever really be insignificant?
YOU FEEL FREE. What if who you really ARE is beyond
your mind’s understanding? That as long as you’re in
this human body package, you won’t get it. And what
if that’s okay. So how could you ever really be trapped?
Let your imagination go here. What is one dream you’ve not
allowed yourself to dream up until now? Let us help you realize
this dream. Let us help you live and love fully.
During the masterclass, we will outline a process for living
and loving fully that’s simple, but not easy to implement. Your
EGO will convince you that you shouldn’t carve this time
out for you. Don’t buy into that!
It IS possible to create a better experience of life. We know
because we’re doing it for ourselves.
We’d be honored to share this leg of the journey with you.
Angie and Morgan